Now and then, I stumble into a series I shouldn’t finish.
I know better.
I’m yelling at the main character.
I’m rolling my eyes so hard I’m giving myself a headache.
And yet—I keep listening.
This is what I call spite reading.
And yes, it’s real.
📚 Case Study: The Hot Girl’s Zombie Apocalypse™
I found a zombie series. Not gonna name it.
But let’s just say it felt like a CW drama with occasional undead.
Now, credit where it’s due:
- The zombie outbreak premise? Pretty good.
- The supporting characters? They were there.
- The writing? Decent.
The main character?
An absolute menace.
🤦‍♂️ Meet the Worst Apocalypse Strategist Ever
This woman has let so many people die, you’d think she was secretly working for the zombies.
Why?
Because she believes in people.
She thinks everyone can be saved. Like zombies can somehow be talked down from full-blown cannibalism.
Now look—I get it.
That kind of optimism is normal early on in zombie stories.
We all want to believe there’s still hope for humanity.
But by victim #10?
That’s not hope anymore. That’s straight-up denial with a body count. She straight-up watched like 40 people die because she wanted to save a dog. After watching all those people die, she was proud of herself for saving the dog. Spoiler: the dog was spreading the zombie disease.
❤️💀 Also: Everyone Wants to Date Her?
This woman is apocalypse catnip.
Every side character is in love with her.
No one makes a move. They just stand around and respect her feelings and don’t help the people being eaten alive!
Her husband dies; that one was not her fault, but it puts her children at risk by keeping him in the house. And her grief arc has a half-life shorter than an episode of The Bachelor.
By hour 3.5, she’s emotionally available and conveniently shirtless again.
I DON’T GET IT!
🧠But You Know Who Wins?
The author.
Because I purchased and listened to all four books.
I rage-listened.
I hate-finished.
I spite-read an entire zombie series just so I could complain about it to strangers on the internet.
And you know what?
Weird strategy…
But I respect it.