by Audiobook Obsessed | Dec 18, 2025 | 🎧 Audiobook Life, 🛠️ Dad-vice & Gear
Uh… yeah.
Saving money is basically the first commandment of Dad Culture. Right after “don’t touch the thermostat” and “pretend you know how to fix things.”
Also, audiobooks are not something you brag about to your imaginary country club friends.
Who even goes to country clubs anymore?
And what are they? Golf courses with salad bars?
A museum for polos?
Anyway.
The guy at Home Depot definitely doesn’t want to hear about your audiobooks — even though he sees you five times every Saturday because you started a home project you were emotionally, financially, and spiritually unprepared for.
But let’s get back to the point:
If you’re new to audiobooks, start for free.
Get a library card.
Download the Libby app.
Join the enlightened cheapskate community.
Yeah, you’ll have to wait for books.
But let’s be real — I have not met a single human who will die if they don’t immediately listen to their desired sci-fi epic or emotional rom-com that definitely wasn’t written for dads, but we listen anyway.
I love books. They’re basically my entire identity now.
But even I check Libby before dropping money on Audible… because I wish to retire someday.
📚 The Libby Starter Pack
Libby is stupidly simple to use:
- Get a library card.
- Download the app.
- Open the app — if this step confuses you, maybe don’t start a home renovation.
- Enter your library card number 12 times because the app hates your existence.
- Filter for audiobooks only, because who willingly reads full novels on their phone unless they’re 19 and still have hope?
Look, if you don’t have to spend money, don’t.
Audible isn’t hurting. Jeff Bezos does not need your $14.95 this month.
And let’s be honest…
You will eventually spend thousands of dollars on audiobooks.
We all do.
It’s like a subscription tax on avoiding our feelings.
So for now?
Start free. Stay cheap. Join us.
by Audiobook Obsessed | Dec 11, 2025 | 🎧 Audiobook Life
A Survival Guide for When Your In-Laws Show Up
Look, I’ve done my part; I married one of their kids. That should be enough. But no, now I also have to pretend I care about their opinions on local traffic and casserole techniques. Time to retreat into the sweet, muffled world of audiobooks.
Here’s when to plug in those noise-canceling headphones and disappear:
🚙 Airport Pick-Up
They just flew in, full of judgment and old people’s breath. Crank up a thriller and pretend you’re chauffeuring assassins. I can’t sit through another hour of conversation about how Janice forgot to bring her sweater on the plane.
🛏️ Car Ride to the Hotel
They are not staying in your house. They know what they did.
🍽️ Dinner (Home or Restaurant)
Of course, I’m paying. I’m a man. Barely. But still.
🤐 Awkward Silence
Perfect time to get deep into chapter 12 while nodding like you’re listening to their opinions about modern parenting.
🏘️ The Grand Tour
Why do we walk them through the house we’ve lived in for a decade like it’s a real estate listing? You’ve seen the kitchen, Janice.
📺 Terrible Family Movie Night
They want to watch a Hallmark movie about goats who find love. You just want to survive.
💤 Couch Snore-a-thon
They pass out on your furniture immediately and start sawing logs like a dying sea lion. Activate noise-canceling. Hide the remote.
🛍️ Mall Shopping with the Kids
Why do in-laws insist on dragging your children to buy pants they’ll never wear? Your wife says, Go! You comply, you know, like a man.
💻 Family Zoom Calls
Who has 12 kids? Why does one of them always “forget how to unmute”? No one needs to talk to their family to be happy.
📸 Obligatory Family Photo
You may remove one earbud for this. Smile like a hostage.
💼 Bonus Tip: Work Overtime
Suddenly, working late sounds like a gift from above. “Sorry, I’ve got a tight deadline.”
Final Thought:
Audiobooks are the emotional support raccoon I keep in my pocket when my in-laws descend like a swarm of passive-aggressive locusts. Do I love them? If I have to, in theory. But I love escaping into a story way, way more.
by Audiobook Obsessed | Aug 6, 2025 | 🎧 Audiobook Life, 🛠️ Dad-vice & Gear
Okay.
There are a few things that drive me absolutely nuts when I’m listening to audiobooks—or reading.
Let’s break it down.
📅 Chapter Titles with Dates
Why? Why does every chapter need a timestamp like it’s a government document?
“April 5th, 9:47 a.m.”
Dude, I’m not tracking a murder investigation—I’m folding laundry. Just say “three years earlier” or “two days before,” and let my tired dad brain do the rest.
🧠 Nod vs. Shake Confusion
You’d think this one would be basic.
- Nod = yes.
- Shake = no.
But noooo. Some authors write, “Tom shook his head yes,” like we’ve just entered a parallel universe where body language is optional. Don’t make me pause the book to diagram gestures like a middle school substitute teacher. I will. I have whiteboards.
❄️ “Through the Frosted Glass…”
If I hear this phrase all the time, and I just crack up every time. We get it. The glass is mysterious. The view is obscured. So is my patience.
🌀 Extending Senses
“She reached out with her senses.”
What does that mean? Are we talking about actual eyes and ears here, or is this some kind of soul-wifi?
I don’t want to hear about characters “extending their awareness” unless they’re applying for a Marvel contract.
🔈 Quiet Narrators
Narrators: I love you. I really do. But if I have to turn the volume up to 12 just to hear you whisper “he said,” and then get jump-scared by a door slamming in chapter two, we have a problem.
I look like a maniac constantly tapping my AirPods and muttering “What did she say?” in the grocery store. Please, for the love of earbuds—level your audio.
Honorable Mentions (a.k.a. Please Make It Stop):
- Overuse of the phrase “he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.” The collective sigh of exhausted readers should count as storm damage.
- “She tasted the tension in the air.” Stop licking the atmosphere. Go eat a snack.
Characters biting their lips. Who does this?! Outside of teen vampire romance or dental anxiety commercials, when has anyone in real life bite their lip to express emotion? I’m a grown man with two kids and a mortgage. If I’m biting my lip, it’s because I’m trying not to swear in front of my in-laws. And guess what? I still fail. Every. Time.
by Audiobook Obsessed | Jul 30, 2025 | 🛠️ Dad-vice & Gear, 🥩 Dave Logs
Look, I try to withhold my book recommendations. I do. I tell myself, “Be cool, don’t awkwardly pin down your wife to tell her how the hierarchy of species works in your latest space series.” But sometimes, I just need to point someone toward a book so good it makes you consider quitting your job to live in a shack.
But lately, I’ve started to wonder…Am I Dave?
Who is Dave?
Dave is that person who corners you with intense eye contact and tries to recommend some terrible lifestyle changing book. Or even worse, something his wife wrote, punch me in the face now.
First of all, you didn’t ask. You just wanted to heat up your lunch. But now Dave’s talking about the latest motivational secret sales techniques book and you’re nodding politely while wondering if there’s still a dead cockroach in the break room.
I don’t have a lot of friends at work.
But what if I’m Dave… with better taste?
I mean, sure—I recommend books about intergalactic knights breaching enemy ships and redefining the concept of friendship under duress…
But people probably love that. Right?
They’re probably thinking,
“Wow. I need to know this person, maybe I should invite him to a BBQ so he can go into more detail about this book.”
Yes. That’s what I’m choosing to believe. And yes, you can forcibly invite yourself to someone’s BBQ. They won’t talk to you as much as possible, but food will be good.
The Real Takeaway
We’ve all got a little Dave in us.
No innuendo.
Whether you’re pushing your favorite murder mystery on your cousin or casually recommending a 27-hour fantasy epic to a tired dad who asked for something “short,”
—you’re a Dave.
Own it. Embrace it. But maybe… wait until after lunch.
by Audiobook Obsessed | Jul 23, 2025 | 🎧 Audiobook Life, 🛠️ Dad-vice & Gear, 🥩 Dave Logs
Sometimes life hands you a book you didn’t ask for—and it’s usually wearing khakis and quoting productivity stats at brunch.
Let’s talk about the three ways I’ve been ambushed by “required reading”:
1. Dave Wrote a Book
That’s right.
Your client. Your coworker. Your personal Dave.
And he wrote a book.
Of course it’s about mindset. Of course it has a lion on the cover.
And of course… you’re expected to read it.
Did I listen to it?
Yes.
Did a piece of my soul give up and walk away halfway through chapter 3?
Also yes.
And now Dave’s book is inspiring other Daves.
We are caught in a horrifying Dave-loop. Audiobook Gods help us all.
2. Your Significant Other Thinks It’ll Improve Your Relationship
Ah yes, nothing says love and connection like a relationship book that isn’t on Audible and costs $17.99 in PDF format.
You know what improves relationships?
Doing the dishes and letting your partner watch their shows in peace.
But sure, let’s pretend quoting a chapter about emotional check-ins is gonna fix your inability to load the dishwasher the “right way.”
If reading a book becomes a test of your marriage, maybe the real test is… who gets the Audible credits in the divorce.
3. Book Club Bribery (a.k.a. Free Lunch Thursdays)
The BBQ was free. The price was my pride.
I thought I could power through. One little self-help book for one delicious lunch.
But halfway through a chapter on “visualizing abundance,” I realized something important:
I already own a grill.
And I don’t need a metaphor about marinating success—I need ribs.
Parting Thoughts
Look, we all get roped into reading something we didn’t pick. It happens.
But if you’re gonna force-feed me a book, at least throw in a narrator with a decent mic and some dramatic tension.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go listen to something with swords, explosions, or emotionally broken space pirates. For balance.
