It happens. Book one? Fire. Book two? Even better. Book three? Uh⊠okay. Book four? Who the hell wrote thisâand why are they trying to ruin my week?
Weâve all been there. You’re committed to a series, emotionally invested, already referring to the main character like they’re your coworkerâand then suddenly, the next book just doesnât hit the same.
đ„ My Rule: 1 Hour or I’m Out
Letâs keep it simple. If a book doesnât hook me within the first hour, I bail. I donât care if itâs book four in a beloved series or a âcritically acclaimedâ masterpiece. If Iâm bored, confused, or starting to wonder if the author got replaced by their cousinâs chatbotâI’m out.
đȘCan You Come Back Later? Maybe.
If youâve seen reviews saying, âDonât worry! Book five redeems everything!ââokay, fine. Come back later if you feel like it.
But letâs be honest here: If something tastes like garbage halfway through, eating more of it wonât help.
Youâre not being dramatic. Youâre saving your sanity. And your ears.
đŹ No Hate to the Authors (But Letâs Be Real)
Writers, I respect the hell out of you. You do something Iâll never be able to. But⊠even LeBron has off nights. Sometimes you just miss. Thatâs okay. But Iâm not going to sit through 13 hours of filler just because I liked your first book.
đ§ Maybe Itâs You. Maybe Youâre the Problem. (Kidding. Sorta.)
LookâIâm not asking you to go to therapy. Thatâs for people with time, sleep, and emotional energy. But it might be you. Hereâs why:
You were too busy and couldnât focus.
Itâs been a year and you forgot who all the side characters are.
Youâre trying to power through a book when what you really want is to listen to a space heist, a murder mystery, or that sarcastic AI you keep seeing in your library queue.
Take a break. Re-listen to the last book. Or just move on.
đ Final Rule: Always Listen to What You Want, Not What You Should
This is your audiobook journey, not homework.
Forget whatâs ânext in the series.â Forget what Reddit said you âhave to finish.â Forget what your inner guilt says about âcompletion.âHit play on the book that gets you excited. Not the one that makes you check how many hours are left every five minutes.
Letâs get real: there are a million great books out there. But sitting down and reading one? HA. That requires a magical window of silence, focus, and free timeâwhich, if you’re a dad, doesn’t exist.
Enter audiobooks: the multitasking miracle. You get to dive into an epic space battle, solve a murder, or fall in love with a sarcastic AI while scrubbing dried mac & cheese off a car seat. Thatâs power.
đ 1. Driving (AKA: My Only Me-Time)
Commuting? Perfect.
Stuck in traffic? Even better.
Carpooling? Congrats, you’re now an audiobook missionary.
âRunning errandsâ? Code for âI need 45 minutes alone with my space assassin book.â
Sometimes I even volunteer to do the grocery run. Sure, we end up with six bags of shredded cheese and no breadâbut I finished two chapters, and thatâs what matters.
đïžââïž 2. Working Out (Yes, It Counts If You Sweat Slightly)
At the gym, while the youths strut around with their protein shakers and biceps named Chad, Iâm in the corner laughing at an intergalactic robot with daddy issues.
You might think everyoneâs staring at youâsweaty, confused, snort-laughing on the rowing machine. They are. Own it.
đ§œ 3. Chores (The Real MVP of Listening Time)
Cleaning the garage?
Fixing the leaky sink your kids âdefinitely didnât touchâ?
Snaking a toilet clogged with paper towels someone swore wasnât them?
All prime audiobook territory. Youâre not just unclogging drainsâyouâre in a noir thriller set in post-apocalyptic New Jersey.
Pro tip: If you’re operating heavy machinery while listening to a high-stakes spy thriller, just…maybe slow down when near garden gnomes.
đș 4. TV? What’s That?
Letâs be honestâI havenât watched my shows in years. But Paw Patrol? Iâve seen it all. And trust me, the only pup carrying that show is Skye.
Thatâs why Iâve got an action hero in my ear while Chase fumbles through another rescue. My kids think Iâm watching cartoons with them. Iâm actually halfway through a murder investigation in Prague.
Laying in bed pretending not to hear your partner ask for help with the dishes? Narrator: He heard. He just didnât respond.
Whether itâs five minutes of peace or a full-on escape from domestic chaos, thereâs always time for an audiobook.
đ Final Thought From a Guy Who Once Pretended to Grocery Shop for an Hour
Audiobooks arenât just storiesâtheyâre survival tools. They turn chores into adventures, traffic into therapy, and Paw Patrol into background noise.So plug in, press play, and find your momentâbecause letâs face it, this might be the only thing you do for yourself today.
Thatâs rightâEdge of Honor hits today. You already know Scot Harvath isnât here to talk about his feelings. Heâs here to wreck bad guys, make impossible decisions, and remind you that you will never be this cool.
![Insert a moody picture of Scot Harvath looking like heâs judging your cardio routine.]
đ Go get it. Now. Because youâve got laundry to do, and nothing pairs with folding socks like high-level covert violence.
Letâs talk about missing plot twistsâbecause apparently, thatâs a sin now.
Have you ever said, totally casually, that you were shocked by a plot twist? Maybe to a certain judgmental life partner who shall remain nameless? And instead of support, they gasped and said, âYou didnât see that coming?â
Well guess what? No, I didnât. Because Iâm out here solving real-life mysteries like âWhy is the freezer humming?â and âWhat happens when your child eats a battery?â
This Is Your Audiobook Journey
Youâre not listening to audiobooks as part of a literary salon. Youâre doing it while unclogging toilets, avoiding small talk, or removing glass shards from the garbage disposal. (Side note: Shop Vac. Trust me.)
Youâre grinding through life. Keeping people alive. Preventing small humans from licking electrical sockets. Your brain has other prioritiesâso if a plot twist sneaks up on you, thatâs not a failure. Thatâs survival mode.
Plot Twist? What Plot Twist?
Did I see it coming? No. Should I have? Probably. But thatâs between me, the narrator, and whatever emotionally damaged wizard just betrayed his own guild.
Also, letâs be honestâsometimes plot twists arenât subtle. Sometimes itâs like getting hit in the head with a sexually repressed shovel. And you still miss it. Because you were thinking about the price of tires. Or if you left the garage open. Or that one weird noise the fridge made again.
Thatâs life, buddy. You’re doing your best.
Youâre Not in a Book Club, and Thatâs Okay
Letâs be realâyouâre not comparing plot predictions over mimosas. Youâre lucky if your one best friend from college texts you back this decade. These audiobooks? Theyâre for you. Theyâre your reward. Your escape. Your one slice of peace in a day filled with snack crumbs and unresolved paperwork.
So if you see the twist coming? Awesome. If not? Who cares. No one’s keeping score.
Final Thought from a Guy Who Definitely Didnât Catch the Twist Either
Plug in the headphones. Press play. Miss the twist. And enjoy the rideâbecause spoiler alert: you deserve it.
Letâs be honestâthereâs no magical âperfectâ way to start your audiobook journey. But Iâll tell you what wonât help: asking your gym bro for his favorite âAlpha Mindset Warriorâ audiobook. Or listening to Dave from accounting drone on about the one self-help book that âchanged his life.â Donât be like Dave.
â Step 1: Build a List
Ask people you actually like for recommendations.
Search the internet (you’re already here, so… great job).
Use your audiobook appâs recommendations (the ones that arenât trying to upsell you vitamins).
Just⊠filter for taste. If a guy uses âgrindsetâ in casual conversation, skip his book list.
â Step 2: Start Free (Yes, FREE)
Use Libby. Why? Because itâs free and Iâm too lazy to look for anything better. And it works. Got a library card? You’re golden. If not, you know… get one. Youâre not on a watch list. Probably.
Other options? Sure. But Libbyâs the MVP for figuring out what genres you like before burning real money or credits.
đ§ But What If You’re “Too Alpha for Free”?
First off: calm down, Spartan. Second: most paid subscriptions (like Audible) come with included audiobooksâoriginals, series, even some hidden gems.
Are all of them good? No. Were the first wave of Audible Originals kind of a trainwreck? Absolutely. But theyâve gotten way betterâand The Weirdies kids’ series? Surprisingly awesome.
đ§Ș Step 3: Experiment (You’re Not Getting Married)
Try a little bit of everythingâsci-fi, romance, space cowboys with emotional traumaâwhatever sounds good. Use Audibleâs finder tools to spot high-rated books, then check if Libby has them. Waiting list? Fine. You didnât waste a credit. Big win.
đ§ Final Thought from the Guy Ignoring Daveâs Book Club
Thereâs no wrong way to startâunless you’re making it weird. Sample a bunch. Stick with what clicks. Bail on what bores you.And may your listening journey be ever in your favor. (Said in your best narrator voice, obviously.)
