🪓 When You Totally Didn’t See the Plot Twist Coming (And That’s Okay)

by Audiobook Obsessed | Jun 18, 2025 | 🎧 Audiobook Life, 🛠️ Dad-vice & Gear

Let’s talk about missing plot twists—because apparently, that’s a sin now.

Have you ever said, totally casually, that you were shocked by a plot twist? Maybe to a certain judgmental life partner who shall remain nameless? And instead of support, they gasped and said, “You didn’t see that coming?”

Well guess what?
No, I didn’t.
Because I’m out here solving real-life mysteries like “Why is the freezer humming?” and “What happens when your child eats a battery?”

This Is Your Audiobook Journey

You’re not listening to audiobooks as part of a literary salon. You’re doing it while unclogging toilets, avoiding small talk, or removing glass shards from the garbage disposal.
(Side note: Shop Vac. Trust me.)

You’re grinding through life. Keeping people alive. Preventing small humans from licking electrical sockets. Your brain has other priorities—so if a plot twist sneaks up on you, that’s not a failure. That’s survival mode.

Plot Twist? What Plot Twist?

Did I see it coming? No.
Should I have? Probably.
But that’s between me, the narrator, and whatever emotionally damaged wizard just betrayed his own guild.

Also, let’s be honest—sometimes plot twists aren’t subtle.
Sometimes it’s like getting hit in the head with a sexually repressed shovel.
And you still miss it.
Because you were thinking about the price of tires. Or if you left the garage open. Or that one weird noise the fridge made again.

That’s life, buddy. You’re doing your best.

You’re Not in a Book Club, and That’s Okay

Let’s be real—you’re not comparing plot predictions over mimosas.
You’re lucky if your one best friend from college texts you back this decade.
These audiobooks?
They’re for you.
They’re your reward. Your escape. Your one slice of peace in a day filled with snack crumbs and unresolved paperwork.

So if you see the twist coming? Awesome.
If not? Who cares. No one’s keeping score.

Final Thought from a Guy Who Definitely Didn’t Catch the Twist Either

Plug in the headphones.
Press play.
Miss the twist.
And enjoy the ride—because spoiler alert: you deserve it.

🎣 Quick Hook or Slow Burn? The Eternal Audiobook Struggle

by Audiobook Obsessed | May 28, 2025 | 🎧 Audiobook Life, 🛠️ Dad-vice & Gear

When it comes to audiobooks, you’ve basically got two types of openings:

• The Quick Hook: Boom, chaos immediately.
• The Slow Burn: Let’s describe the baseboards in the protagonist’s apartment for three chapters.

Both have their place. But let me be clear:
I’m a 90% quick hook kind of guy.

🧨 The Quick Hook

You know the one. It starts with a charming old man cleaning his house—he’s got a billion-dollar relic tucked in his sock drawer—and just as you’re getting emotionally attached… his face is blown off by a mystical entity.

Instantly, you’re muttering, “What the hell was that?” and smashing the next chapter button. That’s a hook. That’s why I listen.

🐢 The Slow Burn

Now, let’s talk about its passive-aggressive cousin.

The slow build usually opens with a character describing their sad little apartment in excruciating detail. Like, “Through the frosted glass, I saw my own regrets reflecting back at me…”

Side rant: Why is “through the frosted glass” in every book? Was there an author Zoom call where they decided this was required?

Anyway, four hours later, we finally learn the hero has a dark past involving a dead girlfriend who’s actually his mom and sister, thanks to a twisty multiple personality arc. Riveting.

My Rule: One Hour or I’m Out

I’ve said it before:
If the story doesn’t hook me within one hour, I move on.

Sure, I’ve listened to books where nothing happened until the last twenty minutes—and it was weak sauce at best. Are there probably some amazing slow burns I’ll miss out on because of this rule? Definitely. But with over 74,000 audiobooks published in 2023 alone, I’m not crying over missing a few.

When the Slow Burn Does Work

Look, I get the appeal of the slow burn.

• You like the build-up.
• You enjoy the anticipation.
• Your wife probably appreciates that energy too.

Some authors are incredible world builders who can take their time and still keep you engaged. And yeah, sometimes I need a palate cleanser after a post-apocalyptic series that had me Googling bunker prices.

True story: I recommended one of those “end of the world” audiobooks to a buddy. When I asked what he thought afterward, he just said, “I bought a shotgun.” So yeah. Sometimes you gotta cool off with a slow burn.

Final Thought from the Guy Who Judges You (Silently)

At the end of the day, listen to what you like.
Quick hook, slow burn, dragon court intrigue, or intergalactic beer-can sidekicks—it’s all fair game.

I’m not gonna judge you to your face.
Behind your back? Absolutely.
But to your face? You’re good.This is your audiobook time. Own it.