Let’s talk about missing plot twists—because apparently, that’s a sin now.
Have you ever said, totally casually, that you were shocked by a plot twist? Maybe to a certain judgmental life partner who shall remain nameless? And instead of support, they gasped and said, “You didn’t see that coming?”
Well guess what?
No, I didn’t.
Because I’m out here solving real-life mysteries like “Why is the freezer humming?” and “What happens when your child eats a battery?”
This Is Your Audiobook Journey
You’re not listening to audiobooks as part of a literary salon. You’re doing it while unclogging toilets, avoiding small talk, or removing glass shards from the garbage disposal.
(Side note: Shop Vac. Trust me.)
You’re grinding through life. Keeping people alive. Preventing small humans from licking electrical sockets. Your brain has other priorities—so if a plot twist sneaks up on you, that’s not a failure. That’s survival mode.
Plot Twist? What Plot Twist?
Did I see it coming? No.
Should I have? Probably.
But that’s between me, the narrator, and whatever emotionally damaged wizard just betrayed his own guild.
Also, let’s be honest—sometimes plot twists aren’t subtle.
Sometimes it’s like getting hit in the head with a sexually repressed shovel.
And you still miss it.
Because you were thinking about the price of tires. Or if you left the garage open. Or that one weird noise the fridge made again.
That’s life, buddy. You’re doing your best.
You’re Not in a Book Club, and That’s Okay
Let’s be real—you’re not comparing plot predictions over mimosas.
You’re lucky if your one best friend from college texts you back this decade.
These audiobooks?
They’re for you.
They’re your reward. Your escape. Your one slice of peace in a day filled with snack crumbs and unresolved paperwork.
So if you see the twist coming? Awesome.
If not? Who cares. No one’s keeping score.
Final Thought from a Guy Who Definitely Didn’t Catch the Twist Either
Plug in the headphones.
Press play.
Miss the twist.
And enjoy the ride—because spoiler alert: you deserve it.