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Dungeon Crawler Carl: Go Buy It. I’ll Wait

Dungeon Crawler Carl: Go Buy It. I’ll Wait

by | Jun 23, 2026 | 📚 Book Reviews

I have listened to books 1 through 7 at least two or three times now.

My wife has listened to the entire series five times.

Do we have a problem?

Absolutely.

I am currently on the internet telling strangers about audiobooks like a 5-year-old proudly showing off a crayon drawing taped to the fridge. Of course I have a problem.

Should You Listen to Dungeon Crawler Carl?

Yes.

Honestly, you can stop reading right now and just go buy the audiobook.

I have literally bought Audible credits for friends just so I’d have more people to talk to about this series. One friend told me she wanted to read the physical book first before listening to the audiobook.

I almost fought her in a parking lot.

The Audiobook Is the Experience

Here’s the thing that matters most:

Jeff Hays performs this series like a man possessed. We’re talking a ridiculous number of distinct voices — not “slightly different” voices, actually different ones — plus music, sound effects, background noise, screaming, and chaos that makes the whole thing feel less like an audiobook and more like someone trapped a sci-fi action movie inside your headphones.

Hays is also the founder of Soundbooth Theater, which means this level of production quality isn’t an accident. These people do this on purpose. It’s unhinged and I mean that as the highest possible compliment.

Warning, if you hate fun, crude humor, and an intense amount of gore, you may be the problem.

But seriously — this series does not apologize for what it is. It is loud, chaotic, occasionally disgusting, and completely committed to the bit at all times. If you made it this far into a post where I admitted to almost fighting someone in a parking lot over audiobook format preferences, you’re probably going to be fine.

So, What’s Dungeon Crawler Carl Actually About?

A guy in boxer shorts and his cat get thrown into an alien death dungeon that slowly becomes the most chaotic thing you’ve ever encountered. That sentence somehow undersells it by a significant margin.

Will You Spend the Money?

Yes. All of it.

Could you responsibly buy one book at a time? Sure. But that is a sign of weakness.

You will not. You’ll be awake at 1:30 in the morning buying the next one while your phone screen is the only light in the house and you’re fully aware tomorrow is a workday and you’re going to do it anyway.

If you’re in the baby years right now — I’m sorry. Sleep is already gone. You might as well fill the void with something worth losing it over.

The series is available on Audible. And yes, their return policy exists if you hate it. If you return Dungeon Crawler Carl, I’ll assume we just have different tastes in life.

Which is okay.

Wrong.

But okay.

Lord of the Rings Audiobook: Why Don’t We Have One Yet?

Lord of the Rings Audiobook: Why Don’t We Have One Yet?

by | May 12, 2026 | 🎧 Audiobook Life

Okay, this is going to be an unpopular opinion.

Mostly because all of humankind apparently worships these books.

And honestly? I probably would too… if I had actually finished reading all of them.

I know. I should have read them. But I read about 20 words a minute on a good day. Now I have kids and what I would describe as a “busy but deeply unimpressive” adult life. I don’t have time to spend nine months hiking emotionally through Middle-earth.

The Hobbit Book vs. Movie: An Unpopular Opinion

Here comes the really dangerous statement:

The Hobbit movies are more entertaining than the book.

I can already hear Tolkien fans loading trebuchets outside my house.

But let’s be honest for a second. In the actual book, Bilbo spends about 75% of the adventure unconscious. Every few chapters somebody basically says: “Don’t worry guys, Bilbo is alive. Probably.” And then there’s the bear guy — Beorn — who shows up, is absolutely unhinged in the best possible way, and then just… leaves. He deserved more. The movies at least let him smash things.

Now, I understand many people believe the movies “betrayed Tolkien’s vision.” And to those people I say this respectfully:

You are adults now. Get a real hobby. Start woodworking. Buy a treadmill you’ll never use. Financially ruin yourself with a boat like the rest of us.

Why Bilbo Was Basically Unconscious the Whole Time

And before someone calls me a fake fan — I should probably admit I never finished the original books when I was younger either. My parents knew I still needed help reading Green Eggs and Ham at 14. The American education system did not leave a man behind. It specifically left me behind.

The Audiobook Middle-earth Deserves

But while we’re on the subject of people like me who love this world but can’t sit still long enough to read a thousand pages of it —

Why do we not have a fully dramatized Lord of the Rings audiobook production yet? Full cast. Music. Gandalf screaming through surround sound while I fold laundry. They’re doing massive productions for Harry Potter. Lord of the Rings shouldn’t only be experienced by scholars sitting near a fireplace holding pipe tobacco. It should also be available to people like me, who are sitting near a pile of unfolded laundry holding a lukewarm coffee.